Success is All about Relationships

SPRING 2006 HBMAGAZINE

Our behavioral, emotional and mental patterns are shaped by our earliest relationships in our family of origin. We develop as children in the context of relationships and we
continue to develop as adults in the context of relationship. We learn about ourselves primarily through other people. People can be used as a stimulus for our own growth, a receptacle for our pain or a punching bag to abuse. It is only through people that we can stretch and be the best we can be. There is an old story about a man from India who goes to the Himalayas to meditate. He is there for 25 years and becomes incredibly peaceful. After 25 years he decides to go down to join the village folk. Within seconds of being in the crowded city, he gets accidentally elbowed by a pedestrian and starts yelling at the villager to watch where he is going. True growth and emotional mastery only happens through relationship with others. Self protection or self growth is a constant choice. Self-protection takes the form of reactivity, where the reactor remains undeveloped, and there is no growth in the “other” as well. Selfgrowth takes the form of a conscious choice that a person makes to have a -constructive encounter, the by-product of which is mutual growth. Success comes in many forms. Here are six aspects of success and how they relate to relationships.

Money is about relationship

We depend on others to make money and healthy relationships lead to higher productivity. Studies have repeatedly shown that organizations that value employees and work relationships are significantly more profitable. (The whole area of emotional
intelligence at work is based on this principle).

Health is about relationship

Many studies have shown that healthy relationships lead to greater physical health and toxic relationships can actually age and kill people prematurely. It is also about the relationship between body and mind, doctor and patient, health educator and health student.

Meaningful living is about relationship

Our relationship with other human beings and even our pets create a context of purpose in our lives.

Creativity is about relationship

Art, music and other creative ventures affect our relationship to ourselves; how we know ourselves and our self-expression. Creativity is also a way to communicate our inner self with others. Meditation, prayer, yoga and other inner disciplines are about relationship.
We develop a relationship with our divine self, or God, or our “beingness,” and get to embrace these other aspects of ourselves.

Success in life is about relationship to self

Relationship to self - how do I think of myself, how do I regard myself? Do I approve of myself; do I stand up for myself? The answers to these questions all affect how successful I feel I am.

Success in life is about relationship to others

Relationship to others - how do I treat others, how do I perceive of others; do I accept others or am I judgmental? The answers to these questions affect how much success I will attract in my life.

Todd Creager is the owner and director of the Todd Creager Center for Successful Relationships. His business is based on the principle that all success, both at work and at home, has to do with relationships and that the way to have a rewarding and satisfying life
is to bring the best out of others as you find the best in yourself.

Website: www.toddcreager.com. E-mail: todd@toddcreager.com
Personal development
By Todd Creager